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FBI Profiler or Criminal Profiler
The media and online landscape is full of utterly fraudulent information about the purported "FBI Profiler" or "Criminal Profiler" position. Since my Special Agent Blog deals with reality and I am trying to provide accurate, realistic and useful information for criminal investigator applicants, I must regretfully inform you of the following hard truth:
There is NO SUCH thing as a criminal profiler per se, even though Hollywood has continued to perpetuate this crazy myth! You can search USA Jobs until you get carpal tunnel syndrome and will never see a vacancy announcement for "FBI Profiler," EVER!! In fact, the most sure-fire way to lose credibility as an applicant is to tell a special agent recruiter that you want to be a "profiler."
There are indeed a limited number of positions within the FBI at the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime (Behavioral Analysis Unit) but they are based on statistical research & analysis, not psychic flashes; and often primarily staffed by very senior PHD level federal employees. Additionally, there is a very small cadre of special agents from FBI and ATF that are assigned to the Behavioral Analysis Unit or BAU to provide national support for investigations involving bombings, arson, mass murders and other unsolved serial cases & even non-violent investigations. These senior level special agent billets reflect the .0001% of the available special agent positions and require extensive career experience prior to consideration for assignment. This unit is the closest thing to the mythical "profiler" but their job is more akin statistical research, training, best policy practices, and case support (does that sound exciting to you?). And oh yeah, your chances of making it there as a special agent are beyond remote.
If you think you can get hired by the FBI and get assigned to the BAU because you are *so* "passionate, qualified, or special," then I must additionally inform you of the following: The FBI is a federal bureaucracy that hires new special agents to be just that: SPECIAL AGENTS. This is a federal law enforcement position that will require you to contribute to the primary mission of the FBI which involves National Security, Counterintelligence, Major Fraud & other General Crimes. As a new FBI Special Agent you would be one of 14,000 special agents and among the most inexperienced. As a special agent trainee, you will likely execute this mission by doing as your told, conducting surveillances, documenting investigative data on reports, drafting and executing search warrants and testifying in court, etc. At this stage in your nascent career, you are more likely to accidentally end up on the International Space Station than at the BAU. Yes, the idea of YOU; Mr/Mrs. Nobody Special Agent ending up as one of the small cadre of experienced special agents at the Behavioral Analysis Unit is that preposterous.
Now, if the career of an FBI Special Agent interests you (all that federal law enforcement stuff), you put in your dues for a minimum of 10-15 years; and you are miraculously one of the top criminal investigators in the country with several successful high profile cases, then maybe...just maybe, you
might have an opportunity to get reassigned to the BAU at Quantico. If after all that hard work you miraculously make it to the BAU at Quantico, your days will involve
statistical reviews, case file analysis, revision of training programs and on occasion, field level support. Notice how I did not mention a private jet, psychic flashes or chasing endless serial killers across the country on a moments notice....
Now, there have been a number of trainees who joined the FBI thinking that one day they would "work their way" to becoming "FBI Profilers" at the BAU, only to realize that it was a virtual pipe dream. These folks didn't really like the basic job description of a special agent and only treated it as a means to an end. Additionally, many of these "profiler" wannabes simply did not understand the government bureaucracy. As special agents we see these types of applicants all the time and they are often dismissed as lacking a foundation in reality.
Case in point, Bryanna Fox. She was actually a PHD Graduate that worked as a Visiting Research Fellow at the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit for several years. She went on to join the FBI as a Special Agent and worked as a street agent in Las Vegas, NV,
just like any regular probationary agent for the next 14 months. She was likely assigned to Las Vegas, NV, as that was one of the only slots available to her based on
her class ranking. Then she simply quit after experimenting as an FBI special agent for 14 months.
Even with her PHD credentials and specialized experience at the BAU as a researcher,
she did not get assigned to Quantico! At some point she probably realized that nobody was going to tap her on the shoulder and ask her to run off on a private jet with the Deputy Director to solve some mysterious serial killing (Note: This is pure comedic conjecture on my part as I have no idea what led to her departure from the FBI). She is now an assistant professor who is routinely marketed by the media as an "FBI Profiler," which is obviously beyond inaccurate; since I just explained to you that there is no such thing as an "FBI Profiler."
Look, I enjoy Hollywood for its entertainment value. However, it must be noted that they take some concepts to the exaggerated extreme which tend to develop inaccurate perceptions of reality among the public. For example, Mindhunters is a fantastically entertaining series on Netflix; but the majority of the depictions are grossly inaccurate; but that is OK since a TV show is meant to entertain not inform. You should not be watching Mindhunters thinking, "thats what its like to be an FBI agent." For accurate information you are welcome to keep researching this blog.
At this point, you must be wondering why then do so many TV shows, movies, internet articles and news reports disproportionately focus on this "mythical" FBI Profiler position. Unfortunately, due to the large amount of public attention that the term "FBI Profiler" has received, many ex-agents peddling books or other commercial services have similarly adopted this phrase, even though it is grossly inaccurate. The simple truth is that they are all making money off of gullible people and this true crime genre. Yes, selling the "FBI Profiler" myth is extremely profitable as it sells ad revenue and generates website traffic. Additionally, many of these career sites are inputting these short BS articles about the "FBI Profiler" position, getting thousands of "hits," and then letting that segway into regurgitated information about the Special Agent application process. This has created the inaccurate perception among applicants who are doing their due diligence research online; that there is indeed such a profiler position available; when in reality that is far from accurate. If you come across a website that markets the position of "FBI Profiler" or "Criminal Profiler," I urge to you leave immediately and never return to that entire site again as they likely peddle in garbage.
If you are truly interested in becoming an 1811 federal law enforcement officer and find all my agency profile pages byond interesting; then you should indeed apply to become a Special Agent for the FBI or any other agency that you find interesting. If however, you want to "get in the mind of a serial killer," go get a PHD in the relevant field, apply to be a researcher at a university and then maybe land a job at the BAU at the FBI. That is much more realistic path than applying to a special agent vacancy in order to become an "FBI Profiler."
I sincerely apologize for killing this Santa Claus.
